Martin EP Seligman, Ph.D. taught me a lot about making choices when he wrote the book Authentic Happiness: “Optimists have a strength that allows them to interpret their setbacks as surmountable, particular to a single problem and resulting from temporary circumstances or other people. “Pessimists are 8 times as likely to become depressed, they do worse than their talents warrant and they often lose national elections. So what are the pros and cons of optimism and pessimism? The results will surely surprise you…
“Pessimists in contrast have a particularly pernicious way of construing their setbacks and frustrations. They automatically think that the cause is permanent, pervasive and personal. ‘It’s going to last forever, it’s going to undermine everything, and it’s my fault.’ Seligman admits to being a recovering pessimist. As he waited for a phone call to see if he had won his association’s presidency he was sure that a busy signal meant that he had lost the election, and of course it was because he wasn’t qualified enough, and hadn’t devoted enough time to winning. In reality he had won.
I truly believe that deep down inside we all want happiness, to be at peace with ourselves, and free from harm. We want to experience pleasure and we want to love one another. Happiness is something that we pursue so relentlessly, yet at times it can seem so elusive. Why is that?
Well, for one thing we are bombarded with insistent messages promising us a luxurious life and joy on credit. The happy racket and false promise enterprise is indeed big business these days. When we look at different aspects of our lives including wealth, health and wisdom we realize that we need all three to work in synchronicity.
Can optimism or happiness be learned? It seems it can to a certain degree. We do not yet “view positive motivations: loving kindness, competence, choice and respect for life as being as authentic as the darker motives.” – Martin EP Seligman
With the relentless pursuit of happiness we may enter trouble. Could it be that we are looking for the wrong kind of pleasure, the passive kind?
Countless research studies have proven that when animals or people learn that what they do, and their actions have no effect on their environment, they lapse into a state of passive listlessness. They become depressed, and feel hopeless.
Pessimists may be more accurate in their perception, but optimists live longer. It is really two different ways of seeing the world. A positive mood brings people into a mode of thinking that is creative, tolerant, constructive, generous, un-defensive, and lateral. “We look for what is right not what is wrong.” A negative mood “activates the battle station’s mode of thinking: the order of the day is to find out what is wrong and eliminate it.”
Seligman’s findings were inspirational: Happy people are more altruistic and generous. They focus less on themselves, like others more, and want to share their good fortune. When we are down, we trust others and life less. We turn inward in defense and focus on our own needs. Looking out for number one comes from a place of a deep distrust and unhappiness. It makes perfect sense to make the choice to be happy to see the world differently.
Seligman has an actual formula for happiness. It is H=S=C=V. H is the enduring level of happiness. S is your set range: are you born an optimist or a pessimist. C is the current circumstances of your life and V is events over which you do have control. So your enduring level of happiness depends upon your genes, your circumstances and your sense of control.
Happiness is written in the United States Declaration of Independence as an inalienable right: Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. These rights are not contingent upon the laws, customs, or beliefs of any particular culture or government. Martin suggests that we use gratifications versus pleasures. Enduring pleasure has to do with enacting personal strengths and virtues, this is something that each of us will find to be different. It is what we were born to do. It is our essence.
Happiness is relative. We have so many talents, strengths and possibilities that need to be formulated into a plan of action. It is a vision of what we want to become.
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